Kristin Hill Taylor

Seeking God as the Author of Every Story

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Search Results for: label/No More Perfect Moms

{No More Perfect Kids} Excellence vs. Perfection

February 24, 2014 by Kristin Leave a Comment


One of the hardest things about laying down perfection is knowing what to pick up instead. Obviously, life isn’t perfect. And neither am I or my husband or my kids or my days or my anything else. But there is a fine line being perfect {or, you know, trying to be …} and striving for excellence and contentment.

It’s a fine line, yes. But there’s a big difference.

While reading “No More Perfect Kids” by Jill Savage and Kathy Koch earlier this year, the contrast of perfection with contentment and excellence struck my heart.

“Contentment involves confidently living life as it is. We parents our kids as they are. … Contentment means we won’t focus on what we don’t have, what we can’t do, and what’s wrong with everything and everyone around us. We’ll be aware of these things, because we know life can’t be perfect, but we won’t focus there. Rather, we’ll focus on what we do have, what we can do, and what’s right with the world — including our part of the world.”

{Jill Savage in “No More Perfect Kids“}

Do you hear that? It’s about changing our focus and embracing our real lives. {And, yes, this isn’t the first time I’ve blogged about this book. You can read the first post here.}

You know, the life with a noisy, messy boy and a girl who talks so fast I have to ask her to slow down and repeat herself. Yes, and the life with dirty dishes, piles of laundry, and those sticky spots on the floor. Yes, sometimes people run late and forget what they said they’d do in this real life. And, yes, this real life has disappointments but it has plenty of joy too.

For a long time, I thought if I were content with this real life of mine, then I’d be settling. It’s really quite the opposite. When I’m content, I’m free to take risks because I’m not worried about perfection.

Ah, sweet relief. 

More relief came when Jill Savage outlined the difference between excellence and perfection in the second chapter of “No More Perfect Kids.” Look at these contrasting lists:

EXCELLENCE :: Something done well. Attainable. Positive. Freeing. Allows for failure. Expects mistakes. Growing. Learning. Open. Motivated by confidence. From God. Empowering.

PERFECTION :: Done without fault. Unattainable. Negative. Binding. Punishes failure. Panics at mistakes. Dying. Performing. Closed. Motivated by fear. From the world. Rejecting.

Far too often I have parented and even lived burdened by perfection instead of striving for excellence. I’ve squashed my son’s joy because his noise level interfered with my task-oriented focus. I’ve burdened my daughter with nagging correction. I’ve picked on my husband who didn’t read my mind.

I want to embrace my son’s joy, even first thing in the morning. I want to show my daughter the freedom that comes with doing her best and learning as she goes. I want to love my husband in ways that burst open the communication. I want us all to stand firmly on the secure foundation that comes only from God.

I want to strive for excellence, rest in contentment, and let go of perfection. 

________

I got an advanced copy of “No More Perfect Kids” by Jill Savage and Kathy Koch as part of the book’s launch team. The book will be available for purchase in March, and if you buy the book between March 13-23, you’ll get additional FREE resources worth more than $100 from Hearts at Home and Moody Publishers. Stay tuned because there’s more on this book to come. Yes, I truly love it that much. 

This is an ongoing theme in my life. Last year, I blogged often about embracing imperfection and was part of Jill Savage’s launch team for “No More Perfect Moms.” This post contains Amazon affiliate links because these are books I believe in, but prices won’t change if you order through my links. Thanks for supporting this blog!

Joining Jen Ferguson and her Soli Deo Gloria party with this post. 

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{No More Perfect Kids} Letting the light escape

January 27, 2014 by Kristin Leave a Comment

My kids were chasing each other. It had started out as a game and then morphed into him picking on her and her yelling at him. My husband walked through the door into the tense moment. Again. Seriously, what is it about the hour before dinner that ramps up the stress level?

I was trying to get dinner finished. In effort to gain some control over the people in my house, I yelled some rant about how having fun is OK but wildness is dangerous and how I could use some help setting the table and how nobody was getting along and how …

You know, I don’t even remember everything in my rant. I’m certain my kids didn’t actually learn anything from it either. And my husband just became more irritated with my attempt at control.

Letting go has been my desire long before Elsa sang about her icy powers. But in trying to let go and embrace the imperfection, I’ve failed over and over again. Yes, I’ve improved. But I’m still not there.

I’m not perfect, but I’m being perfected by a perfect God. Did you catch that? Notice the drastic difference when perfect is an unattainable adjective and when it’s an on-going verb.

This is the process I’ve been embracing the past year and it’s the same one I’m going to continue embrace this year. {You can read many previous posts about embracing imperfection inspired by Jill Savage’s “No More Perfect Moms.”}

“Change is really about exchange. We replace one thing with something else. What if you and I replaced ‘being perfect’ with ‘being perfected’? What if we were truly able to embrace that the imperfect parts of our lives are counterbalanced with the reality of a perfect God who longs to shine His light through the cracks in our lives? What if we could believe that fully for ourselves and fully for our children, who are also ‘being perfected’?”

{Jill Savage in “No More Perfect Kids“}

That’s right. Jill Savage has a new book out. Written with Dr. Kathy Koch, it’s an ideal follow-up to her book last year, especially for someone like me who desires change but isn’t always sure how to let go. As part of the launch team, I’ve gotten to read the book already. It encourages parents to really get to know their children and offers practical advice for ridding parenting of perfection

As much as I recommend you buy it, I also recommend you wait until the release week. If you buy the book between March 14-22, then you’ll get additional FREE resources worth more than $100 from Hearts at Home and Moody Publishers. Totally worth the wait. Stay tuned because this won’t be the only time I talk about it.

So that quote above from Jill? Yeah. It pierced my heart because it’s EXACTLY what I want to happen in my heart and my life and my children.

I chose “LIGHT” as my one-word focus for the year. God has since brought songs and words into my life to affirm the importance of letting go so His light alone can shine. For me, it’s about seeing God in imperfect real life and holding on to his promises while letting go of my expectations.

He’s there …

… in the piles of laundry that are washed, dried, folded and put away for my favorite people in the world.

… in the dishes that need to be loaded into the dishwasher because we had food to eat around the table together.

… in the noisy, sometimes rough games the kids make up because they’re creative and active.

… when I’m not sure what to say or when I’ve said too much.

… on the hard days because we can do all things with His strength.

… when my words are too loud and my lectures too long because he forgives and redeems.

… when my kids are slow to obey because God is slow to anger and wants us to learn patience.

… when my kids ask the same questions over and over. They’re learning and figuring things out.

… when we all forget and run late and crowd our schedules because none of us are perfect but God still manages to work all things together for our good when he choose him.

… when we feel left out or passed over or like we aren’t sure what step to take next.

… always, especially when we finally remember we aren’t in control anyway.

Those cracks have been on my mind. And then Jill Savage goes and talks about them too. Those cracks aren’t worth yelling about because I want to hear the truth they whisper and the light they allow to shine.

________

I’m linking this post with Jen Ferguson’s Soli Deo Gloria party, where the imperfect cracks are embraced fully, and Jennifer Dukes Lee’s #TellHisStory, where the stories are real.

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No More Perfect … Kids

July 19, 2013 by Kristin 2 Comments

They’re cute, aren’t they? My daughter has cheesing down to an art. And my boy has silly faces perfected. As cute as they are and as much as I love their stories of becoming part of our family, they aren’t perfect. 
Those kids you see on the playground? They aren’t perfect either. That boy challenging his mom in the grocery store aisle or the one in your daughter’s class? Yeah, no perfection there. 
So let’s stop expecting them to be perfect. {I’ve just repeated this five times. And I could sit here all day and remind myself.}

“Your kids aren’t perfect. Their imperfections are not a reflection of you. You can’t control them into perfection. Allowing your children to fail – without getting your anger as a consequence – is a gift to them.”

{Jill Savage in “No More Perfect Moms“}

Perfection is rooted deep in my natural tendencies. I’m slowly learning to let go and embrace imperfection, especially in my days and relationships. There is so much more peace and joy when I let go of my expectations.

My 6-year-old daughter is oh-so much like me. I’m trying to help her through her own perfectionist tendencies so she’ll try something new without being frustrated that she’s not immediately good at it. We had a good lesson this summer at the skating rink and again as she’s learned to swim and jump off the diving board without floaties.

Meanwhile my 3-year-old boy is all boy. He’s loud and messy and independent and funny and fearless and always on the move. He stretches me and presses me and challenges me and loves me and reminds me to laugh. He’s good for me. But, goodness, he’s hard for me. He doesn’t fit in my box and I certainly can’t parent him just like I do his sister. Without him, I’m pretty sure I’d still be trying to keep my life in a perfect box.

God has been trying to break through my stubborn, perfectionist ways for a long time now. This has been the year I’ve truly let him in. I still learning and trusting in this new way, but my heart is calmer this way. And, really, I have my kids to thank for it.

________

It’s been awhile since I blogged about “No More Perfect Moms.” {Read past posts here.} I’m linking up with other moms over at Jill Savage’s Hearts at Home Blog Hop. And I’ve got news: Jill Savage is teaming up with Dr. Kathy Koch to write “No More Perfect Kids: Love Your Kids for Who They Are.” I have no doubt it will be real and practical. 

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About Me

Telling stories is my therapy and I love sharing them with friends on my porch.

The main characters in my stories are my entrepreneur husband, our high school girl who never forgets, our middle school boy who has no fear, and our joy-filled first-grade girl. As we live out our stories, we seek God as the author of them all.

Learn more about my story here.

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I needed this weekend. The UK Wildcats didn’t I needed this weekend. 

The UK Wildcats didn’t win this afternoon like I had hoped. But following our house full of people on Friday night, I’ve spent a lot of time on my couch, under a soft blanket, with a book, while I watch #MarchMadness. 

Yesterday I pulled “When We Left Cuba” by @chanelcleeton from my to-be-read stack and then realized it was the second in a series about the Perez family. Thanks to @libby.app, I was able to get “Next Year in Havana” immediately. 

I finished it today during commercials and timeouts. And now I’m going to start “When We Left Cuba” as another basketball game also gets going. 

#KHTreads #basketballseason #weekending #bookstagram #reallife #booklover #librarybooks #KindleOasis #Kindlebooks #favoritethings
What a fun night! Basketball is best with friends What a fun night! Basketball is best with friends and food. So thankful for all these provisions and others in my life. Oh and a Cats win is icing on the cake. 

#MarchMadness #weekending #basketballseason #bettertogether #choosingJOY #BigBlueNation
You know it’s #MarchMadness when Greg Taylor pos You know it’s #MarchMadness when Greg Taylor posts on Facebook — and a picture at that! — and puts his radio/TV degree to work figuring out how to improve the viewing setup. 

#reallife #basketballseason #wifelife #choosingJOY
I had no idea just how deeply I would be affected I had no idea just how deeply I would be affected while studying Genesis 1-2. Going back to the beginning and seeing how God created, ordered, and filled the earth has been exactly what I didn’t know I needed, especially as a mom. 

For quite a while now, I feel like I’ve been living a day at a time. I used to be able to see my life in larger chunks of time and anticipate and prepare accordingly. Now, I slap things on the calendar and then deal with them as they come. Navigating life with two teenagers and a first-grader is the best and hardest thing I’ve ever done.

Honestly, this moment-to-moment living has been good for me and helped me rely on the God who created the stars and rivers that still exist in our world. Focusing on where I am helps me take slower steps, trust God to provide, and remember I’m not in control. I’ve felt an internal shift with my relationships — with my husband, kids, and friends. I’ve felt behind on laundry and dishes and piles of papers. But I’ve also felt a refreshed nearness to God. 

I’m going to rest here while believing God created life and light when there was only darkness and continues to order my days. 

#livingfaithfully #choosingJOY #momlife #faithlife #preceptstudy #genesisstudy #genesis #beginnings #reallife #PorchStories
My friend @ashleelyoung told me about this memoir, My friend @ashleelyoung told me about this memoir, but I knew nothing about Sutton Foster or her story beforehand. She’s a TV actress and Broadway singer and dancer who processes her life — complicated family life, love, loss, spotlight, infertility, adoption, motherhood — by creating. She creates in the kitchen, on stages, with yarn, with paint, with her hands, and with her mind. But her story really is all the experiences and emotions that inspire her creative work. I enjoyed this one. 

#KHTreads #memoirs #bookstagram #booklover #audiobooks #audible #bookreview
Also from the weekend: Shout out to @lifehousemurr Also from the weekend: Shout out to @lifehousemurray for putting on the fabulous @beautiful.you.conference with @meggpam from @shelivespurposefully. My girl and her friends had a great time together and my momma heart is thankful this is how they chose to spend a Saturday morning. 

#momlife #girlmom #teenagers #weekending #livingfaithfully #choosingJOY #latergram
Yesterday was one of my favorite kids of days with Yesterday was one of my favorite kids of days with some of my favorite friends. Kids played inside and out, the TV was never on, and new memories were made with old friends. Plus we ended the night with our ninth year of Little Hands Trivia Night. It was our worst finish ever, but we still had such a fun time! 

#bettertogether #weekending #livingfaithfully #choosingJOY
I’ve told you about Cate’s basketball season, I’ve told you about Cate’s basketball season, but we celebrated it (and the other middle and high school players) last night. What a joy, truly! She was surprise with the Lions Award for her overall approach to the game and her teammates. 

This context is basketball, but the bigger community and broader learning that happens are ultimately even more important. And, hey, middle school boys, you were also so much fun to watch! I’m so thankful Ben was part of that team. 

Shout out to the Schroeders for Tim being the coach of four teams and all the family time sacrificed as well as the other coaches and families who made it all possible. 

Give me a little break, and then I will be ready for more Lions and Lady Lions basketball to come! Scheduling for the fall and winter will start soon. 

I’m so proud to be part of New Covenant Christian Academy! 💛 @ncca.lions #momlife #girlmom #boymom #basketballseason #livingfaithfully #choosingJOY
Once again, I stayed up too late finishing a book. Once again, I stayed up too late finishing a book. 

“Half Way to You” by @jennifergoldauthor was my #FirstReads choice from Amazon this month and I dived right in. I loved it! This is a multi-generational story full of love, heartbreak, friendships that span decades, and travel. The story is told as a reclusive author shares her real story with a young podcaster who has personal and professional interest. The way the lives is woven together is brutal and beautiful. 

#KHTreads #AmazonFirstReads #bookstagram #booklover #KindleOasis #kindlebooks #readersofinstagram
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