Kristin Hill Taylor

Seeking God as the Author of Every Story

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Search Results for: label/No More Perfect Moms

{No More Perfect Kids} Excellence vs. Perfection

February 24, 2014 by Kristin Leave a Comment


One of the hardest things about laying down perfection is knowing what to pick up instead. Obviously, life isn’t perfect. And neither am I or my husband or my kids or my days or my anything else. But there is a fine line being perfect {or, you know, trying to be …} and striving for excellence and contentment.

It’s a fine line, yes. But there’s a big difference.

While reading “No More Perfect Kids” by Jill Savage and Kathy Koch earlier this year, the contrast of perfection with contentment and excellence struck my heart.

“Contentment involves confidently living life as it is. We parents our kids as they are. … Contentment means we won’t focus on what we don’t have, what we can’t do, and what’s wrong with everything and everyone around us. We’ll be aware of these things, because we know life can’t be perfect, but we won’t focus there. Rather, we’ll focus on what we do have, what we can do, and what’s right with the world — including our part of the world.”

{Jill Savage in “No More Perfect Kids“}

Do you hear that? It’s about changing our focus and embracing our real lives. {And, yes, this isn’t the first time I’ve blogged about this book. You can read the first post here.}

You know, the life with a noisy, messy boy and a girl who talks so fast I have to ask her to slow down and repeat herself. Yes, and the life with dirty dishes, piles of laundry, and those sticky spots on the floor. Yes, sometimes people run late and forget what they said they’d do in this real life. And, yes, this real life has disappointments but it has plenty of joy too.

For a long time, I thought if I were content with this real life of mine, then I’d be settling. It’s really quite the opposite. When I’m content, I’m free to take risks because I’m not worried about perfection.

Ah, sweet relief. 

More relief came when Jill Savage outlined the difference between excellence and perfection in the second chapter of “No More Perfect Kids.” Look at these contrasting lists:

EXCELLENCE :: Something done well. Attainable. Positive. Freeing. Allows for failure. Expects mistakes. Growing. Learning. Open. Motivated by confidence. From God. Empowering.

PERFECTION :: Done without fault. Unattainable. Negative. Binding. Punishes failure. Panics at mistakes. Dying. Performing. Closed. Motivated by fear. From the world. Rejecting.

Far too often I have parented and even lived burdened by perfection instead of striving for excellence. I’ve squashed my son’s joy because his noise level interfered with my task-oriented focus. I’ve burdened my daughter with nagging correction. I’ve picked on my husband who didn’t read my mind.

I want to embrace my son’s joy, even first thing in the morning. I want to show my daughter the freedom that comes with doing her best and learning as she goes. I want to love my husband in ways that burst open the communication. I want us all to stand firmly on the secure foundation that comes only from God.

I want to strive for excellence, rest in contentment, and let go of perfection. 

________

I got an advanced copy of “No More Perfect Kids” by Jill Savage and Kathy Koch as part of the book’s launch team. The book will be available for purchase in March, and if you buy the book between March 13-23, you’ll get additional FREE resources worth more than $100 from Hearts at Home and Moody Publishers. Stay tuned because there’s more on this book to come. Yes, I truly love it that much. 

This is an ongoing theme in my life. Last year, I blogged often about embracing imperfection and was part of Jill Savage’s launch team for “No More Perfect Moms.” This post contains Amazon affiliate links because these are books I believe in, but prices won’t change if you order through my links. Thanks for supporting this blog!

Joining Jen Ferguson and her Soli Deo Gloria party with this post. 

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{No More Perfect Kids} Letting the light escape

January 27, 2014 by Kristin Leave a Comment

My kids were chasing each other. It had started out as a game and then morphed into him picking on her and her yelling at him. My husband walked through the door into the tense moment. Again. Seriously, what is it about the hour before dinner that ramps up the stress level?

I was trying to get dinner finished. In effort to gain some control over the people in my house, I yelled some rant about how having fun is OK but wildness is dangerous and how I could use some help setting the table and how nobody was getting along and how …

You know, I don’t even remember everything in my rant. I’m certain my kids didn’t actually learn anything from it either. And my husband just became more irritated with my attempt at control.

Letting go has been my desire long before Elsa sang about her icy powers. But in trying to let go and embrace the imperfection, I’ve failed over and over again. Yes, I’ve improved. But I’m still not there.

I’m not perfect, but I’m being perfected by a perfect God. Did you catch that? Notice the drastic difference when perfect is an unattainable adjective and when it’s an on-going verb.

This is the process I’ve been embracing the past year and it’s the same one I’m going to continue embrace this year. {You can read many previous posts about embracing imperfection inspired by Jill Savage’s “No More Perfect Moms.”}

“Change is really about exchange. We replace one thing with something else. What if you and I replaced ‘being perfect’ with ‘being perfected’? What if we were truly able to embrace that the imperfect parts of our lives are counterbalanced with the reality of a perfect God who longs to shine His light through the cracks in our lives? What if we could believe that fully for ourselves and fully for our children, who are also ‘being perfected’?”

{Jill Savage in “No More Perfect Kids“}

That’s right. Jill Savage has a new book out. Written with Dr. Kathy Koch, it’s an ideal follow-up to her book last year, especially for someone like me who desires change but isn’t always sure how to let go. As part of the launch team, I’ve gotten to read the book already. It encourages parents to really get to know their children and offers practical advice for ridding parenting of perfection

As much as I recommend you buy it, I also recommend you wait until the release week. If you buy the book between March 14-22, then you’ll get additional FREE resources worth more than $100 from Hearts at Home and Moody Publishers. Totally worth the wait. Stay tuned because this won’t be the only time I talk about it.

So that quote above from Jill? Yeah. It pierced my heart because it’s EXACTLY what I want to happen in my heart and my life and my children.

I chose “LIGHT” as my one-word focus for the year. God has since brought songs and words into my life to affirm the importance of letting go so His light alone can shine. For me, it’s about seeing God in imperfect real life and holding on to his promises while letting go of my expectations.

He’s there …

… in the piles of laundry that are washed, dried, folded and put away for my favorite people in the world.

… in the dishes that need to be loaded into the dishwasher because we had food to eat around the table together.

… in the noisy, sometimes rough games the kids make up because they’re creative and active.

… when I’m not sure what to say or when I’ve said too much.

… on the hard days because we can do all things with His strength.

… when my words are too loud and my lectures too long because he forgives and redeems.

… when my kids are slow to obey because God is slow to anger and wants us to learn patience.

… when my kids ask the same questions over and over. They’re learning and figuring things out.

… when we all forget and run late and crowd our schedules because none of us are perfect but God still manages to work all things together for our good when he choose him.

… when we feel left out or passed over or like we aren’t sure what step to take next.

… always, especially when we finally remember we aren’t in control anyway.

Those cracks have been on my mind. And then Jill Savage goes and talks about them too. Those cracks aren’t worth yelling about because I want to hear the truth they whisper and the light they allow to shine.

________

I’m linking this post with Jen Ferguson’s Soli Deo Gloria party, where the imperfect cracks are embraced fully, and Jennifer Dukes Lee’s #TellHisStory, where the stories are real.

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No More Perfect … Kids

July 19, 2013 by Kristin 2 Comments

They’re cute, aren’t they? My daughter has cheesing down to an art. And my boy has silly faces perfected. As cute as they are and as much as I love their stories of becoming part of our family, they aren’t perfect. 
Those kids you see on the playground? They aren’t perfect either. That boy challenging his mom in the grocery store aisle or the one in your daughter’s class? Yeah, no perfection there. 
So let’s stop expecting them to be perfect. {I’ve just repeated this five times. And I could sit here all day and remind myself.}

“Your kids aren’t perfect. Their imperfections are not a reflection of you. You can’t control them into perfection. Allowing your children to fail – without getting your anger as a consequence – is a gift to them.”

{Jill Savage in “No More Perfect Moms“}

Perfection is rooted deep in my natural tendencies. I’m slowly learning to let go and embrace imperfection, especially in my days and relationships. There is so much more peace and joy when I let go of my expectations.

My 6-year-old daughter is oh-so much like me. I’m trying to help her through her own perfectionist tendencies so she’ll try something new without being frustrated that she’s not immediately good at it. We had a good lesson this summer at the skating rink and again as she’s learned to swim and jump off the diving board without floaties.

Meanwhile my 3-year-old boy is all boy. He’s loud and messy and independent and funny and fearless and always on the move. He stretches me and presses me and challenges me and loves me and reminds me to laugh. He’s good for me. But, goodness, he’s hard for me. He doesn’t fit in my box and I certainly can’t parent him just like I do his sister. Without him, I’m pretty sure I’d still be trying to keep my life in a perfect box.

God has been trying to break through my stubborn, perfectionist ways for a long time now. This has been the year I’ve truly let him in. I still learning and trusting in this new way, but my heart is calmer this way. And, really, I have my kids to thank for it.

________

It’s been awhile since I blogged about “No More Perfect Moms.” {Read past posts here.} I’m linking up with other moms over at Jill Savage’s Hearts at Home Blog Hop. And I’ve got news: Jill Savage is teaming up with Dr. Kathy Koch to write “No More Perfect Kids: Love Your Kids for Who They Are.” I have no doubt it will be real and practical. 

Want more stories? Like 152 Insights on Facebook. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram. Follow 152 Insights at Bloglovin’. Subscribe to receive “Insights in Your Inbox.” Affiliate links included.

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About Me

Telling stories is my therapy and I love sharing them with friends on my porch.

The main characters in my stories are my entrepreneur husband, our eighth-grade girl who never forgets, our have-no-fear fifth-grade boy, and our joy-filled preschool girl. As we live out our stories, we seek God as the author of them all.

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I’ve loved Cate’s school experience at @ncca.l I’ve loved Cate’s school experience at @ncca.lions, a small but growing classical, Christian school. I knew there were both advantages and sacrifices of keeping her in a small class for middle school and agonized over possibly moving her to a bigger school. I only considered moving her because I wasn’t sure what her classmates, some of who are freshman this year, were going to do for high school. But they stayed, and we stayed. Now she’s an eighth grader in a class of nine. 

A couple years ago, I prayed for more girls. God gave her class two. Sometimes people move on, and sometimes people move in. But this sweet class of eighth and ninth graders has been faithful — to each other, to our school, to an unknown future. They’re paving a way for the students behind them, including my other two kids. 

God has been kind to my momma heart and given me some assurances she is where she’s supposed to be. One of these provisions is a basketball team that has become competitive with the other teams we’ve gotten to play. It’s more than just some games, though. I’ve watched my 13-year-old daughter become more confident on the court and in life. I’m grateful for her friends and their shared love of this game. I’m thankful for where God has us. 

#momlife #classicaleducation #choosingJOY #livingfaithfully #girlmom #momconfessions #bettertogether #middleschool #middleschoolbasketball
At a basketball game Thursday night, Ben told me h At a basketball game Thursday night, Ben told me he had a loose tooth and was going to go to the bathroom to maybe pull it. He pulled it. That’s #14, and he’s dealt with every single one, just as his older sister did with all 20 of hers.

Meanwhile, little sister has a loose tooth that she won’t wiggle, avoids using to eat, and won’t let her siblings pull. We’ve bribed, threatened, and failed to persuade.

#momlife #boymom #thirdchild #girlmom #reallife #momconfessions
I was overdue for some TLC to my hair, so I got it I was overdue for some TLC to my hair, so I got it trimmed and colored this week. You know it’s time when the stylist takes before and after pictures. My friend @whitneyrscott at @blushsalon always does a good job. 

In addition to the much-needed TLC, I also got bangs. After a few days, I can say I love them. The resident teenager at my home doesn’t like this — and she tells me daily. I tell her I don’t care whether she likes them because I do and it’s my hair. She also didn’t like the tennis shoes I bought a few weeks ago. Again, I do, so who cares. 

Anyway, it’s Friday! So let’s do some #fridayintroductions around here. Tell me three things you’re loving these days. I’ve already mostly told you mine: 

1️⃣ My bangs. I’ve included a picture of the fun waves that Whitney gave me at the salon and the more likely normal styling — by that I mean blow drying and some minor straightening to train the bangs. 
2️⃣ New tennis shoes, which are gray & purple Brooks Launch 7, if you’re curious. My nail color accidentally matches them. 
3️⃣ The teenager in my house. I’ve been giving her grief about her dislike of my fashion choices, but I really love being around her. Honestly, she’s the easiest kid in my house right now. 

✨ Bonus current love: Who can tell me what TV character inspired my hairdo? If you know, then that’s also the TV show I recently binged and am eagerly awaiting new episodes. 

So, what are you loving — even if nobody else in your life does? #momconfessions #reallife #reallifeconfessions #momlife #choosingJOY
It’s been a night of basketball! First, my girl’s middle school game. Now, our favorite college team. Turns out they’re both navy & gold so that’s good for wardrobe choices. 💛 #girlmom #momlife #RacerNation #WeAreRacers #MurrayState
“The Chicken Sisters” by @kjda was a fun, quic “The Chicken Sisters” by @kjda was a fun, quick read this weekend. I added it to my to-read list recently and then saw it as a @bookofthemonth add-on.

I enjoyed the feuding sisters story unfolding while filming a realty show about their family’s feuding chicken restaurants in a small Kansas town. Of course, not everything is quite as it seems, so the reality show helps uncover some reality both sisters were missing.

#amreading #bookstagram #booklover #recommendedreads #thechickensisters #weekending
We needed to get out of the house today — even t We needed to get out of the house today — even though the sun barely peeked through the clouds into the cold air. #countryliving #weekending #choosingJOY #boymom #thirdchild
A week into Peggy’s recovery at our house, and t A week into Peggy’s recovery at our house, and these two have spent a lot of time together. Rachel encourages her and stays close. Peggy plays games and watches movies with Rachel.

Honestly, this #thirdchild of mine was probably my biggest concern with having Peggy recover from open heart surgery here: I didn’t want Rachel to hug too hard. I didn’t know if she’d understand that her Gran-Gran looks fine on the inside but hurts on the inside. She’s been booted from her room, but she’s been sleeping well on her mattress in the back living room. She’s actually probably not going to know what to do when Peggy moves back home.

For now, we’ll let them make memories together. That’s part of caretaking I hadn’t considered. #bettertogether #weekending #choosingJOY
I’ve been in a reading slump. I returned one lib I’ve been in a reading slump. I returned one library book I couldn’t get into and then couldn’t decide what to read next. So I went with this library book — and I’m glad I did.

“The Unhoneymooners” by @christinalauren is a funny romance novel that helped distract my mind from heavy thoughts. It also made me want to go to Maui. The dialogue is delightful, the story of quirky from the get-go, and I definitely found myself rooting for Ethan and Olive.

I also discovered by reading the acknowledgements (possibly my favorite thing about books!) that @christinalauren is the pen name for a writing duo. What fun to write novels with a friend! 

As always, I’m happy to accept your recommendations on what to read next. I may also be pondering what friend with whom to write my next book. 📚 #amreading #fiction #authorlife #bookstagram #bettertogether #romcombooks
My friend Delana called before she brought us dinn My friend Delana called before she brought us dinner yesterday and asked if we liked chocolate pie. Um, yes. Turns out both Peggy and I love chocolate pie. Delana gave us chocolate chips cookies too, you know, just in case we didn’t like pie.

My friends are loving on us so well this week with dinner & dessert, obviously. Yes, the food is good, but the way they saw a need and met it is even more gracious. (I wrote a book about gathering & nourishing your people!) Having someone provide dinner has freed up some mental space I’m able to use for taking care of Peggy and parenting my kids, some of whom have needed a little extra love and guidance this week. 

Peggy is nine days removed from open heart surgery with quadruple bypass and is doing well. She had a good check up with her primary care provider this morning. We’re thankful for our community of people who continue to pray for us, feed us, and provide help, like today’s impromptu preschool pickup when an appointment ran long. (Thanks, @katie_cunningham85 & @tstanger25!)

#bettertogether #momlife #reallife #morethangroceries #choosingJOY
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