dang disease

So far today, I've taken five insulin shots.

I got up this morning and wanted some orange juice. Because that's what happens when my throat hurts. Drinking orange juice required a shot.

I wanted to eat breakfast but nothing sounded good. I managed to eat a banana and drink some more orange juice. That required insulin.

A couple hours later I was hungry because all I had was a banana and orange juice. Time for a cereal bar. That required another shot.

Lunch time. Again, nothing sounded good. But I decided a bowl of Honeycombs wouldn't be too bad. Yes, more insulin.

I checked my blood sugar after lunch. A little high. Not a surprise these days. Another shot of insulin. Hopefully that will bring it down, although it's not feeling like that's the case.

I still have dinner and my other insulin that complements the meal-time doses. At least seven shots.

Now, some would say here: What about the insulin pump?

I in turn ask: Do you really want something attached to you all of the time? I mean all of the time.

Yeah, it doesn't sound appealling to me either.

Oh, by the way, I faxed the last few weeks of my blood sugar readings to my endocrinologist in Louisville. Her nurse called to ask a question about something that was cut off on the faxes. Then said, well, the doctor said maybe you're just out of the honeymoon stage of diabetes (sometimes people's bodies will make some insulin, even with insulin-dependent diabetes) and it's just becoming harder to control.

In my head, to the doctor: Well, yes, it has been harder to control. That's why I sent for help from you. I didn't need you to tell me that. I needed you to offer some suggestions for managing it better.

I'm not sure why sleeping on the couch is better than the bed when I'm sick. But I do know being sick — well, at least not feeling well — is more complicated with diabetes.