Giddy up!

One of the best parts of motherhood is watching my child find joy. Recently, Cate has found joy in horses. She likes to watch "My Little Pony" and "Dreamer." She reads books that have horses on their covers. She writes about horses and draws pictures of horses. Her brother points out horses whenever we seem in a pasture along the road. We went to Keeneland this spring and gathered in front of the TV to watch the Derby.

To go along with her horse-themed birthday party, I scheduled a horse riding lesson with a friend from our church as her birthday present. I'm pretty sure that hour would rank among the greatest in her six years of living.

Pure joy, I tell you. 

Thanks to Gran-Gran, she was dressed the part. Isn't that belt buckle adorable?! And that hat is borrowed from our friend/instructor Emilie. Cate befriended Raj, a gentle 20-year-old Arabian and I didn't spot a single nerve from my girl.

While Cate learned about riding a horse, Ben found sticks and swatted at trees. You know, boy things. And then he got a turn to join Cate on Raj. By the smile on his face, he got a taste of the joy Cate had been experiencing.

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Dear Weary Mom ...

Even welcomed transitions can be hard. We have one coming here. It's a small one, but sometimes the small ones are the ones that smack us in the face when we're least expecting them. School is {almost} out for the summer. Tomorrow is my girl's last day of kindergarten.

Cate was made for school. She likes hoarding school supplies, but she uses them too. She writes and draws and creates and learns and remembers and documents. She's a reader and asks millions of questions. She likes making new friends. She generally obeys and follows rules. But even she's ready for a break.

This school year has been good for our family. Deciding to enroll our daughter in a small, private Christian school was a big decision, especially for me. But I've gotten to know God better while I volunteer in those hallways and classrooms. And Cate has gotten to know you better while memorizing scripture, learning to count money and tell time, creating lots of refrigerator art, and writing stories.

But even the best of things can make us weary. Sometimes the journey is exhausting, even when it's filled with blessings. I'm ready for a break from the alarm clock and the homework and carpool that didn't work out like I planned.

I'm always surprised to remember Jesus was tired along his journey. He was going from Judea to Galilee through Samaria. "...and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon." {John 4:6} Y'all. It was lunch time. And Jesus was tired. He'd be going from place to place, trying to teach and instruct people along the way. When he was sitting by the well, he asked a Samaritan woman to give him a drink and a ministry opportunity presented itself.

Weary mom, we've been there. We've been tired before lunch because we go from place to place, trying to care for these people who depend on us. Sit down. Take a drink of water. Jesus tell us to come to him. And remember you are not alone and this season is not forever. This is just one stop on the journey.

Samaria was changed because of that conversation at the well. Samaria knew about living water that always satisfies because Jesus, even when he was weary, spoke truth and made a difference. Really, that's not all that difference from our lives as moms.

So, yes, I'm ready to sit by the well.

I'm ready for afternoons at the pool.

I'm ready for impromptu lunches with friends at the park.

I'm ready for free time, when the kids have to use their imaginations and I can let some creative juices flow.

I'm ready for less commitments on the calendar.

I'm ready to pick strawberries and then blueberries and maybe even blackberries.

I'm ready for a getaway with my husband.

I'm ready for bedtime to be more flexible.

I'm ready for walks to Dairy Queen and the snow cone shack.

I'm ready for the sunshine that tints my kids' skin and makes us dirty and sweaty and tired in the best ways.

I'm dreaming of summer, friends. But that doesn't mean all our summer days are going be perfect. There will be messes and interruptions and plans that fall apart. People will disappoint us and not react like we think they should. Some days rain will keep us inside. Most days will be humid. We will be weary.

But God can be glorified in the imperfections. The truth can be made known in ordinary moments along the journey, even when we want to rest and have someone give us a drink of water.

And I have to remind myself to balance work and play. The writing and lake house managing needs to get done, and it will. But the lengthy to-list will always be around. Yes, I will fulfill my commitments, but it all doesn't have to get done today. I need to repeat that for myself: Not every last thing has to be done right now. 

Sometimes right now is better spent pushing my boy on the swing, going on family walks, playing Uno, and really hearing that song my girl is making up. Jesus decided to spend a couple days in Samaria because the people asked even though his destination was Galilee. {John 4:40}

These days aren't going to be perfect, but these are the days we have. I really do want to make the most of them, realizing life is a journey that changes us and the people around us. To get from here to there, we have to be willing to endure the road, go through transitions, sit down awhile, and let others walk with us.

Come along, weary mom. We're in this together.
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I'm linking up with Hope For the Weary Mom, Jill Savage's blog hop about No More Perfect Days, and Chasing Blue Skies, where this week's Out of the Blue prompt was to share how a passage of scripture surprised us. You'll find encouragement at all of these pleases. 

If you want even more encouragement, "No More Perfect Moms" by Jill Savage is available at Amazon for $10.29 {paperback} or $7.76 {Kindle} and "Hope For the Weary Mom" by Stacey Thacker and Brooke McGlothin is available at Amazon for $4.99 {paperback and Kindle}.

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{God-sized Dreams} Right here, right now

I believe God wants us to make a different where we are. I've been guilty of thinking I'll make a difference ... when I get to be a mom, when my kids are older, when our life slows down. But God finally convinced me of the important living out my faith right now, right here.

Now, whatever season of life you're in my determine how and where and when you can serve. I finally got to be a momma and my kids are still fairly little, so some things would compromise the priorities Greg and I believe God wants for our family. But even then, while serving my family, while waiting for one season to end and another to begin, I can serve my neighbor and my God.

"... While I'm waiting I will serve You, while I'm waiting I will worship
While I'm waiting I will not faint, I'll be running the race even while I wait
I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You Lord, and I am peaceful, I'm waiting on You Lord
Though it's not easy no, but faithfully I will wait; Yes, I will wait
And I will move ahead bold and confident, taking every step in obedience ..."

{From "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller}

This week's God-sized Dream challenge from Holley: Share about your favorite nonprofit organization. They are all God-sized dream in action.

In last week's God-sized Dream post, I shared about one of my family's favorite nonprofit organizations. Compassion International makes sense to us because raising kids is where my husband and I are. My kids relate to the kids we sponsor. As I've learned about Compassion International, I've been impressed with how its staff executes its mission.

For this week, I thought I'd share about a more local project I've recently learned about and with which I've just gotten involved. The Needline Food Project is a way to incorporate regular giving into families' routines in order to help other families in our community.

The idea is each week when we shop, we'll pick up an extra non-perishable food or hygiene item and store it in a usable shopping bag designated for the project. The on the second Saturday of every other month, a neighborhood coordinator {in my case, that's me ...} will collect all the bags from the families on that coordinator's neighborhood list.

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"

Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

{Matthew 22:36-40}

I heard about this food project idea just before I heard Jen Hatmaker speak about missional-minded living and loving your neighbor. I was already thinking about ways to get to know the families who live near us. We live across the street from one of the two local parks, so there are often kids walking down our street. Sadly, we've done a poor job getting to know our neighbors and I'm ready to change that.

We have a neighborhood party on the calendar and I'll be handing out flyers for that this week. This food project goes right along with what's on my heart now: I want to know my neighbors. I want to teach my kids to help others. And I want to make a difference here in this community that is my home.
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Tuesdays are God-sized Dream days around here and I'm linking this post along with many, many other dreamers on Holley Gerth's blog. 

I'm also linking up with Jen at her Soli Deo Gloria party.




And on Wednesday, I decided to link up with Jennifer Dukes Lee, who is a master storyteller and asks others to #TellHisStory. 

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Celebrating motherhood

Just one week old, Cate had already changed my life and made me a momma. May 13, 2007.

I became a mother a week before my first Mother's Day. Our new family of three spent the first eight nights of our newborn daughter's life away from home -- one in a hospital room and the next seven in a Comfort Suites room -- while we waited for the green light from folks in Indianapolis, Indiana, and Frankfort, Kentucky, who were signing and mailing and filing interstate adoption paperwork.

There were years of yearning and months of waiting of this specific baby girl, yet in an instant I become a mom. She was not quite 24 hours old when the nurse made sure the car seat was secure in the back of our blue Oldsmobile Alero and then waved goodbye. We left the hospital and headed to that Comfort Suites that was closer to the state line. Just across the river were family and friends who were excited to meet this much-prayed-for and much-hoped-for baby girl. 

But becoming parents doesn't meant you don't want to eat, so we stopped along the way at Arby's. Yes, we had a day-old baby and stopped for curly fries. I even had to change a tiny newborn diaper in the public bathroom. Nothing like diving into real life, huh?

Except we didn't dive all the way in right away. 

For a week, we slept in a hotel, where my only mothering responsibilities included mixing and measuring formula, feeding a precious baby, changing diapers, occasionally answering a phone call from someone wanting to ask one more question regarding our adoption paperwork, washing bottles in a tiny sink, telling my mom and friends what we wanted to eat, and making plans of whether they were coming to our hotel room or we were meeting at a restaurant.

That's so not real life, where laundry piles up, dinner needs to be cooked, the crumbs need to be swept, phone calls need to be returned, appointments need to be scheduled, groceries need to be bought, and homework needs supervised.

But it's here in real life that I'm really a momma. Yes, that baby girl came into my life, rocked my priorities and perception of how I thought things would be, and made me a momma. That's quite a feat for a baby girl who didn't talk or walk and barely weighed 8 pounds, but I haven't been the same since 8:54 p.m. May 6, 2007.

That baby girl turned 6 six days ago and has a 3 1/2-year-old brother who adores her. We have stayed in more hotels, visited with more friends, eaten at other restaurants, filled out more adoption paperwork, and made so many other plans since her birth.

Motherhood is about living and doing and loving and teaching and caring and adjusting, all while these little people who grow up into bigger people watching your every move. I think they aren't listening, but they learn as I do so much more quickly than as I say, which is both good and bad. Moms pour their lives into other lives, creating a legacy that may begin in a hospital room, move to a hotel room, and overflow into real life.
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{Weekend Words} The Mother's Day Edition

To Young Mothers of Toddlers and Babies :: "I am overwhelmed that the living God would take all those years of my not really knowing what to do, and all those years of my feeling like I was dying and wasting, and all that hurt, and turn them into a young man so bright and so beautiful." There is so much hope in this real post from Rebecca Reynolds at Story Warren.

Motherhood as a Mission Field :: This post was one a stranger I follow on Twitter shared. I emailed it to myself and was so glad when I finally sat down to read it. "Given in faith, that plate of PB&J’s will feed thousands. Given in faith, those presents on Christmas morning will bring delight to more children than you can count. Offered with thankfulness, your work at home is only the beginning. Your laundry pile, selflessly tackled daily, will be used in the hands of God to clothe many. Do not think that your work does not matter. In God’s hands, it will be broken, and broken, and broken again, until all who have need of it have eaten and are satisfied. And even then, there will be leftovers."




Mighty :: This video is based on a blog post by Lisa-Jo Baker. Both are worth your time. "Celebrating the small is directly related to recognizing the massive, Kingdom impact. Kids are forever. They are eternity with skin on. And we mold them like so much play-doh until one day they walk out the door and take every small moment of a family’s routine with them."

Happy Mother's Day weekend, friends. Have you read anything that needs to be shared?
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{Guest Post} All the moments that make a mother

Mommas need support. I'm blessed with friends right here in my small town who live this life with me, friends who have known me long before I became a momma, and more recently some women who encourage me from a distance, thanks to technology that expands our world. One of those women, Gindi, shared her journey to motherhood two weeks ago. Up next is another dreamer friend who shares my name and the spelling of it! 

Welcome Kristin Smith here today! While she's sharing her story here, I'm sharing part of my story over at her place, The Riches of His Love. Join us as we kick off this Mother's Day weekend.

The journey to and through motherhood is hard. Can I get an amen?

When I was expecting my first child I was young, and naive and my idea of what being a mother would be like was all happy, smiley babies and perfectly posed Christmas pictures. I was certain that because of my many years of successful babysitting jobs when I was younger that I would be the perfect mom.

You can probably guess where this is going, right?

Our first born (who doctors estimated was more than 7.5 pounds) came barreling into the world at a whopping 8 pounds 15 ounces after 24-plus hours of the worst back labor I have ever experienced. But he was here and he was perfect. For a few days we lived in a bubble of nurses helping and family holding the baby ... and then we went home to try and do this parenting thing on our own.

And he had colic – for months! Man, those days and nights were tough! My image of a happy, smiley baby were squashed and as I held him and cried more often than not, I was sure that I had failed as a mother.

Our second son is seven years younger than our first. The distance between them wasn’t our "choice." We struggled through several years of infertility and disappointments. Each month that we tried and we got another negative pregnancy test, a small piece of my heart died.

I couldn’t see God’s plan during this time and was certain that He was punishing us. It was reinforcement of the lie that I wasn’t a good mother ... because good mothers don’t have trouble getting pregnant, right?

Oh course I know today that God works all things for good. I know today that God wasn’t withholding a “blessing” from me. He wasn’t punishing me. But I had associated blessings from God as a reward for good behavior.

Have you ever been there? Clouded by hurt and disappointment, resentment and fear? It is hard to see the Truth through the lies the enemy bombards us with when our souls are weary.

There are six years between our second and third sons. Once again we faced infertility. And during that time of trying, we also had a miscarriage. The type of loss I felt would "never happen to me." Life became so much more fragile and my heart softened toward women who had walked the same path.

The entire experience of loss and then my subsequent pregnancy was a time that really brought me closer to God. I was able to see how He was making something beautiful out of my hurts. It wasn’t an easy journey but it has molded my faith walk in such a way that I wouldn’t change things today.

Our fourth child – and first girl – was a complete and beautiful surprise. One week after I stopped nursing our then 10-month-old son, I was pregnant. I had always hoped to have a girl and name her after my best friend. The timing of this pregnancy was such that this special friend was able to experience most of my pregnancy with her namesake. She (unfortunately for me) went to be with Jesus just six short weeks before the birth of our girl. But I was so very grateful that she lived long enough to see her ultrasound pics and feel her kicking my stomach. That time brought us both so much joy and I know she is with us today in spirit.

When I dreamed of being a mom, the dream didn’t include all of the difficult times. It didn’t include the hurts and disappointments, the health scares and hospital stays. It didn’t include countless sleepless nights and 3-year-old tantrums.

But each and every moment is a memory that I wouldn’t change today. My husband and I often say that the best part of us is our kids. They are strong and caring, smart and resourceful, loving and kind, energetic and imaginative. Each moment of their lives has made every day of mine better. And I am so, so grateful.

I know there are days where it would be easier to throw in the proverbial towel. I know there are women out there reading this that want nothing more than to have a child but for various reasons can’t. And women that have taken up the incredible commitment of foster parenting and adoption. Each of you is special, and we are all on a journey ... don’t miss these moments. Try not to be overwhelmed by unreasonable expectations. (Especially the ones you set for yourself!) Trust God with all things and know that you are loved. Even if there isn’t a baby in your arms tonight – your mama heart shines and it is beautiful. Happy Mother’s Day!
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Kristin blogs at The Riches of His Love and says this about herself: "I am a wife and a mother, but, most importantly, I am a daughter of the King, redeemed by His grace and so very grateful for it. Through the past 16 years we have walked some hard roads, many of them difficult by our own doing. But despite our choices and at times lack of faith – God loved us anyway. We have seen and continue to experience the riches of His love."

'Then what we gonna do?'

Photo by Jenn Hall King Photography in October 2012.

"Momma, what we gonna do?" my 3-year-old boy asks when I pick up from school, before he goes to bed, and when he wakes up. He’s carefree, fearless second-born child and this need-for-a-plan mentality surprises me from him. His 6-year-old sister has been asking for a plan for as long as I can remember. He’s probably learning it from her. But, still, it surprises me he cares. And it surprises me even more he remembers.

So I tell him, "You’re going to take a nap when we get home."

Almost immediately, he asks again. "Then what we gonna do?"

Annoyed by the repetitiveness, I list things in order. ...

As soon as I consider myself annoyed, I realize that’s ridiculous. I do the exact same thing with God. I may be 11 times my boy’s age, but I still lead a busy, messy life. ...

{Join me at (in)courage today to read what comes next!}

(in)courage is one of my favorite blogs, so I'm super excited about posting there. I wrote the post you're reading today in January. The message remains true. And my boy still asks "What we gonna do" countless times a day. Good news is he's decided wearing big boy underwear and using the potty really is better than diapers. Whew. 
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I'm also linking this post with Kristen at Chasing Blue Skies. Today is the Out of the Blue link-up over there and this post seemed to be a fitting springtime surprise. Even though I knew it was coming, to see my words on a well-read blog is still surprising. I wrote these words in the winter, but here they are today in the spring. Plus, I talk about how my boy surprises me with his questions of asking what's next, regardless of the season.

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